How to Dog Sit a Dog With Separation Anxiety
In short: separation anxiety is a panic response to being left alone rather than ordinary naughtiness, and no sitter can train it away in a weekend. What you can do is keep the first day or two quiet, make your arrivals and departures boring, hold the dog's normal routine steady, and give it something to do with its nose and mouth instead of fussing through a panic. If the dog is hurting itself or wrecking the house, that goes straight back to the owner and their vet.
Sitting for a dog with separation anxiety is a different job from sitting for an easy dog, and most of the work happens before the owner's car leaves the drive. The dog is not being difficult, it is frightened, and the behaviour you will see is the dog trying to get its person back.
The good news is that a sitter can make a real difference to how a stay goes, even without fixing the underlying problem. That comes down to preparation, routine, and resisting the urge to comfort a dog that is mid panic.
What Separation Anxiety Looks Like in Someone Else's Dog
Owners usually describe it as the dog being clingy, and it runs deeper than that. A dog with genuine separation anxiety tends to start pacing and whining before the front door closes, and the behaviour builds rather than settling once the person has gone.
The signs to expect include barking or howling that starts soon after the owner leaves, scratching and chewing at doors, frames and skirting boards, toileting indoors in a dog that is otherwise clean in the house, refusing food, and following whoever is left from room to room. A dog may also stare at the door, pant heavily or drool.
It helps to know which version you are dealing with. A bored dog will chew something and then sleep, while an anxious dog will work at the same door for a long stretch and will not be distracted by food. If the dog settles the moment it can see you, habit is the more likely explanation.
Before the Owner Leaves: Get the Handover Right
Ask for the routine the dog already knows rather than inventing one. Feeding times, walk times, where it sleeps, what it is allowed on, and which commands it understands are all worth writing down before the owner goes.
Ask what the dog normally does when it is left, how long it has been left before, and whether anything has changed recently, such as a house move, a new baby or a change in working hours. Recent upheaval makes anxiety worse, and it tells you how carefully to manage the first night.
Get the owner's contact details, the name of their vet, and written permission to seek treatment in an emergency. Ask whether the dog is on any medication, and confirm that you will not change anything about it.
Keep Arrivals and Departures Boring
The instinct when you walk in is to greet the dog warmly, and for an anxious dog that is the wrong move. A big hello makes the contrast with being alone sharper. Come in quietly, put your bag down, and let the dog come to you once it has settled.
Leaving matters just as much. Go out the same way every time, with the same short sequence of keys, coat and door, and skip the long goodbye. Ignore the dog for the first few minutes after you return, then greet it calmly once it has stopped bouncing or whining, so that comings and goings stay unremarkable.
Set the Space Up Before the Dog Arrives
Decide where the dog will settle and set that space up in advance. A bed or crate in a quiet corner that is out of the walkway, water within reach, and something safe to chew will all help. A crate is only useful if the dog already uses one happily at home, because a strange crate in a strange house adds stress rather than removing it.
Keep the room calm in other ways as well. Draw the curtains in the evening so the dog is not watching for headlights, leave a radio on low so the house does not sound empty, and put the dog's own bedding, toys and blanket in the space so it can smell home.
Safety comes before comfort. Move anything chewable or breakable out of reach, block off stairs if the dog is not used to them, and check that the garden or yard is secure before the first toilet break, because an anxious dog looking for a way out is a dog that will find one.
Build the Day Around a Predictable Routine
Dogs read patterns, and a steady routine gives them something to lean on while the person they are attached to is away. Feed at the times the owner uses, walk when the owner walks, and keep the order of the day the same, so the dog always knows what is coming next.
Exercise is one of the most useful tools you have. A dog that has had a long, sniffy walk is generally calmer than one that has spent the day watching the door, and letting a dog stop and smell everything is genuinely tiring work for it. Two decent walks a day, plus a toilet break late in the evening, covers most adult dogs.
Use Enrichment Instead of Comfort During a Panic
This is the part sitters find hardest. When a dog starts whining, the reflex is to sit down beside it and stroke it, and doing that through a panic does not settle the dog, it teaches it that whining brings company. It is better to give the dog a job.
Food toys are the easiest version of that job. A rubber toy stuffed with something the dog can lick, frozen before the owner leaves so it lasts longer, gives an anxious dog several minutes of calm work. A snuffle mat or a puzzle feeder does the same thing with the nose and the brain, and both are useful in the evening when a dog is most likely to pace.
If the dog will not touch food at all, that tells you the anxiety is running high. In that case, stop offering treats, dim the lights, keep the room quiet, and give the dog space rather than more attention.
When to Call the Owner or a Vet
Contact the owner if the dog refuses food for a full day, is injuring itself at doors or windows, has toileted repeatedly indoors despite being let out, or stays distressed for hours rather than settling. Those are signs that the dog needs more than a sitter can provide, and sometimes more than the owner can either.
If the dog is already on medication for anxiety, only the owner and their vet should change anything about the dose or timing. Your job is to give it exactly as instructed and to report anything unusual.
Products Mentioned
- KONG Classic stuffable dog toy - the standard rubber toy for stuffing and freezing, and the easiest way to give an anxious dog a job.
- OHMO lick mats - two silicone mats that spread soft food out thinly so the licking lasts longer.
- Paw 5 snuffle mat - a fabric mat for scattering dry food, which turns a meal into several minutes of sniffing work.
- Nina Ottosson dog brick puzzle - a level two puzzle for dogs that need more mental work than food toys alone provide.
- Indestructible dog chew toys - a two pack of tough chews for dogs that redirect stress into their jaws.
- Amazon Basics medium dog crate - a simple folding crate for dogs that already settle in one at home.
Frequently Asked Questions
Should I comfort a dog with separation anxiety?
Stroking a dog that is mid panic does not end the panic, and it can teach the dog that whining brings company. Keep your own comings and goings low key and give the dog something to do instead, such as a stuffed toy or a snuffle mat.
How long can I leave a dog with separation anxiety alone?
Only for as long as the owner says the dog has been left before, and shorter than that where you can manage it. Build up from short absences rather than testing the dog with a long one, and never leave an anxious dog with a chew it could swallow in one piece.
What should I do if the dog cries all night?
Check the basics first: water, a late toilet break, room temperature, and whether the dog can hear or see you. A low radio, a light left on and the dog's own bedding nearby all help. If the crying carries on for hours, message the owner rather than guessing at a fix.
Is it okay to let a dog with separation anxiety sleep in my bed?
Ask the owner before you change anything. A dog that normally sleeps in the bedroom may panic alone in a strange room, and a dog that normally sleeps downstairs can be unsettled by being moved. Follow the house rules and tell the owner what happened.
Can a dog sitter fix separation anxiety?
No. Separation anxiety is worked on by the owner over weeks, usually through gradual practice at being alone and sometimes with help from a vet or a behaviourist. A sitter's job is to keep the dog safe, hold the routine steady and reduce stress while the owner is away.
Final Verdict
Sitting for a dog with separation anxiety is mostly about preparation and restraint. Get the handover right, keep the routine the dog already knows, make your arrivals and departures dull, and give the dog work to do rather than attention during a panic. You will not cure the problem in a weekend, and that is not the job.
Mark Whitfield writes about pet products and habitats for WhoPets, from dog gear to aquariums.
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Last reviewed: 2026-09-14 ยท Evidence-based content ยท Contains affiliate links